Friday, August 26, 2011

The Untold Story of a Not so Real Friendship

It was August 2nd, I called HER and asked if they're busy on the 3rd (tomorrow). She answered not really. So, I invited her if they can come on my daughter's birthday. Then she said we'll see and they might kasi they will also picked up their d's uniform in Pittsburgh. She had to asked the husband first if they can. I said, ok and we don't have other visitors just you guys. so, let me know then. She, said ok buzz nlng kita sa YM. That night my computer broke. The next day, I waited for her to call na hindi makasipot. I presumed that they probably can't make it on J birthday but I waited for her to at least gave us a ring to confirmed it. I'm done preparing the food and everything and Jake keep asking if when are they coming. I said they probably won't come. Later that night I was already upset of the idea that why this person whom I treated friend don't value our friendship. Take note: they're already in Pittsburgh picking up the uniform, but the thing they don't value other peoples business besides them that's what I thought. I got a call from Her that night that said, pasensya na hindi na kami nakasipot blah blah blah, i left comment in your blog (heller my computer is broke at isa pa you could have called early that day and tell me straight or, you could have said NO on that night I invited you, i would not mind it at all) That day I made a decision yo stop communicating with her and removed her in my true friend, friend and acquaintances list because she did not treated me as one.
Do you get mad when you invited someone and they don't show up? YES I definitely get mad if that someone showed up to your invitations countless of times. I get mad if that someone prepared foods and expected one visitors only. The word is not MAD, because mad is equivalent to being crazy. I was disappointed of you not telling me the truth that you cannot make it. I was disappointed at you for not calling earlier that day that you can't make it. I was disappointed at you because i thought you are different, i thought you're friend. Now, you see why I was upset at you. It's not all about the "not showing up to the birthday party" it's more on respect, honesty and friendship. I even swallowed my pride, begging my husband to drive me to West Virginia kahit super pagod. See, handa ako makikipag away sa asawa ko dahil sa FRIENDSHIP na yun, only to find out that it was FAKE and PHONY? What a waste. You said... I don't, because no matter their reasons are, it's their call, not yours and you have to understand that. Apparently, you were saying that those invitations are nothing to you. How about a little honesty na...hey sorry bading hindi kami makakapunta diyan bukas kasi we have to pick up Rye's uniform in Pittsburgh" i don't think so that is hard to say. do not say you might, say it straight and direct na NOT. Please, be honest to your friend and don't pretend or lead them to other direction. I know and see you have too many friends, value them. That's the least you could do, if you know the meaning of FRIENDSHIP.

What upset me with the way she treated us was. THREE times we drove to their place 30-40 minutes because she invited us minus the EB part na mas convenient sa kanila, na even we got there late, we came anyway. We are also family but we made it to your invitation without going to other appointments because I said YES to your invitation. You see, we are not only treating you as mere acquaintances and just friends but more than just being a friends. I had so much respect on you but it all fade out when you LIED to me. I agree, family comes first but at least give a minute or two to call and confirmed na hindi makakarating. Hindi na sana nag hanap ang asawa ko nga mabibilhan ng fried chicken.

Not attending the party is not a crime but pretending and lying, making up some alibis to the family who was willingly went to your place voluntarily is totally bad. All I want was simple honesty but it probably killing you saying NO directly that is why you did not care if you can make it or not. Based on that action, WHO IS the TRUE FRIEND there? You did not HOLD our friendship and considered me and my family as your friend kaya parang ikaw natamaan sa sinasabi mo. You did not missed the birthday intentionally but you put our friendship on the very least of your appointment.

Before your Florida vacay, we talked and you asked me if I am still using the email add or what email add I am actively using. You mentioned to send me an virtual gift but I honestly told you na never mind kasi okay lng and we give gift on non occasional basis. And besides nasa US lng tayo so hindi na kailangan mag alala, at i even added na i haven't tried shopping with virtual gift yet but you answered I am not Justine. So, the virtual gift was sent to me on July 22nd. I tried to look around at walmart to use the egift but my busy frontierville life had to come first before going through the hassles of shopping this egift.
You went on vacation on the 26th to 31st of July i think. See I know that because I visited your blog to see some photos. We even talked on the phone kamustahan about sa vacay. Anyway, after you stood us up on Justine's birthday and showed to me that you are not the TRUE FRIEND that I thought you were. Real friend, friend or even mere acquaintances don't do that.

August 5th, I decided to sent the egift back to you because I thought you could use it, and I don't need it, and I ended my friendship with you. So, why would I use this egift pa, so I forwarded back to your email. August 5th, I had my computer back and started going through my blogs and deleted all your comments. It's impossible not recognizing the email when all i did was forwarded back to you. You know my email address, that is why you able to sent me an egift. LIAR!!! So, just be happy you got the egift back coz you able to use it.

There is more to that virtual gift story you sent. Honestly, I was insulted when you sent me an egift. I tried asking someones opinion na What would you feel if your close friend sent you and egift. One of my friend answered....if it's really a close and true friend you get offended and insulted especially if that friend is just few minutes away. I was offended but I tried not to get poisoned with that weird feeling. Why It made me think you were insulting me with that egift? Well, before that conversation I told a friend if she has her way to tell you that someone noticed your blog(s) post with NO FOLLOW tag. But, you took it badly instead of taking it constructively. I buzzed you on Yahoo messenger tried to explain the effect of NO FOLLOW tag to other bloggers who done paid posting. We chatted few words but when I was about to say something about it, you said, you're about to log off na because matutulog ka na. Take note, you're about to logged off kasi matutulog na. I thought natutulog ka na, but hindi kasi you still want to know who is that blogger said about your NO FOLLOW tag blog. Simple analysis, you were mad at me for telling you the truth and making you aware of whats going on. You LIED right in front of our chat that you were going to bed. I let that go because i was thinking maybe it's my bad for telling about you that issue. This is the screen shot of NO FOLLOw tag that a friend screened shot so you know that you really did put NO FOLLOW tag. It's not some CRAP you thought that these bloggers making up. So, happen that my link is the only Do Follow there and the black one links were all NO FOLLOW.

"Nofollow" provides a way for webmasters to tell search engines "Don't follow links on this page" or "Don't follow this specific link."

Originally, the nofollow attribute appeared in the page-level meta tag, and instructed search engines not to follow (i.e., crawl) any outgoing links on the page. For example:


Before nofollow was used on individual links, preventing robots from following individual links on a page required a great deal of effort (for example, redirecting the link to a URL blocked in robots.txt). That's why the nofollow attribute value of the rel attribute was created. This gives webmasters more granular control: instead of telling search engines and bots not to follow any links on the page, it lets you easily instruct robots not to crawl a specific link. For example:

 sign in. article from
My concern was, i want you to be aware of this issue because you handled Meme and we just want you to know.

That is why i thought you were insulting me when you sent me that egift all of a sudden because you already shutted me off when you lied to me you were logging off and go to bed. Gifts is not really the issue here, the real problem is you were judging me. Actually, I had tons of unspoken issues with the way you commented to all my blogs. I did not react to that but I want you to know that most of those comments were totally off and below the belt. I even thought why you are doing that to me when I shared personal stuff with you. We shared personal stuff and I shared most of my personal stuff. I really do tried to be rational and understand that you are what you are and you are entitled to everything you say and do. But please do not include all the personal stuff we talked in commenting on my blogposts. You said you did not do anything bad, yes you did but you are too proud to accept and noticed it.

I agree, You are what you are and i don't care what you really are. Let me tell you that no one gossip you around okay, the No follow thing is about blogging which is the source of most bloggers income. They don't give a crap about you. Your life is your life and if they noticed your No Follow tag, I believed you cannot stop that because you are also blogging for money. There is a code of ethics involved in blogging and that's the only concern of those bloggers talking about your no follow. They don't care about your personal stuff.

You thought NEGATIVE about me for telling the truth. You don't rant NEGA stuff here but you stub behind the back to your friend who talked NEGA rant. What you are doing right now is totally NEGA rant, so it meaning you are not what you thought you are. Who are you anyway????? That confuses me of who YOU really is? You started posting some not so detailed story that make it sound I am the bad guy for returning gifts. ENOUGH is ENOUGH, why? what did I do to you?

Note: the screen shot of her blog post was provided by a good friend. I haven't not visited her blog since August 3rd.


Laikka said...

Hello shy, visiting! kalma ang dughan!:)

RUBY Caberte said...

Ang puso natin Marz! Ang puso natin!!

Unknown said...

Hahaha ang puso ng saging.

Dhemz said...

agoy, sensya nauwahi sa balita...ehehehe...unsa mani tsang...2k words for $5 or $6.75....joke lang bayot...nahalangan man ko ani nga post....hope all is well.

sensya karon lang nakabalik...nag watch man jud me ug movie ganina...enjoy your weekend...mwah...kisses sa J&J!

Mel Alarilla said...

What can I say. I don't want to take sides on your controversy. Suffice it to say that you are both my friends and my heart bleeds for what is happening between the two of you. I want you to know that I love you both as my friends, two of the members of my Kumares, Inc. I pray to the Lord that He settles this matter in His own peaceful and compassionate way. I read and evaluated your post very carefully and I got the crux of your sentiments. Thanks for the post. God bless you all always.

Unknown said...

sus bayot mao lage uy nasagulan ug halang akong blog da nga wholesome raba unta. salamat sa dalaw bayot, wala pko ka visit

Unknown said...

@Sir Mel,

Thank you for being so neutral and not taking sides. I really do appreciate your comments. God Bless

Lainy said...

I feel sad everytime friends call it quits.

You see, I was in the same situation when I decided to stop caring for my bestfriend. It was a hard decision on my part but that's the only way for me to stop hurting. I had to let her go coz I can't anymore bear the pain of being neglected. The feeling of rejection often brings the pang of pain. Yeah. AS friends, we expect them to return the favor that we do for them- unconditional love, friendship, care, attention and support. When one fails to do it for us, it's painful. WHy? Because we care for them and we treat them like our own family. For my part, I shared two long decades of friendship with her. Imagine how painful that can be.

It's like a deja vu hearing stories of broken friendships. Been there, done that.

But somehow, time heals all wounds. We are back on speaking terms now but the warmth of old friendship isn't there anymore.

It's pretty normal for friends to express their angst at each other especially when they so much value the relationship.

I still wish things can be patched up. Whatever happens, we respect both your decision.



Sorry for the litany, hahaha!

Unknown said...

Thanks for taking time to read my bali balikong english Lainy hehe and feeling the message. Hard to bring the friendship back kasi may mantsa na.

Umma said...

Hello tsang.. I can relate to your feelings.. wa jud ko kalibutan na naa diay bulkan nag erupt diri. uwahi man sa balita si lola.

You are both lovable persons that's why it breaks my heart to see your friendship falling apart. But one thing I know for sure, time will heal.

I only hope you could patch things up soon.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Mommy Liz said...

Mommy Shy, I didn't know that there is thing going on between you and her. I know it's upsetting kapag nag na stood up ka sa party, it always happens to me. I don't know everything that's going on between the two of you, but I hoe that you can settle it and be back at each others arms. Misuanderstanding lang siguro yan. Take care and wag na magalit ha, baka magkasakit ka sa puso..

Lulu Post said...

anara mami shy suwat ug 2k words lol....

pakatawa nalang ko kay aron peace ang life...

wat happen to my wp ... wako kahibawo busy ko tong its bwahahahaha

Ms. Journ said...

sunod ko ni mami lulu kay late ko nahuman basa kay akong SS gikawa, anyway tsang life is kinabuhi LOL. Agi ko salamat sa pag agi sad ha...

Unknown said...

Tsang, wishful pa rin ako na mubalik inyo of now..tama lang medyo distansya muna para maka relax ang heart and mind...

kisses kay J and J (oi dili si Jose ha?) lol.

Unknown said...

Let us not hope and pray for that tsang, ky according to her, were just mere accquaintance. i wish she told me that in the first place so i won't waste time to make friends with her and perhaps put limitations on everything.

MaiThreeBoyz said...

Hi, Shy! I understand both of your sides now that I've read both of your posts. Right now, you are both hurting and are angry at each other, and that actually in itself speaks of how you two cared about each other. But as I've said in her post, time heals all wounds and I hope in God's time you will find it in your heart to forgive each other and perhaps be friends again or at least be able to look back to memories and time shared with fondness.

God Bless, Shy! Regards to the two kiddos!

Unknown said...

Hi Mai, friendship not always making happy memories but sad too, and if two friends have a fight they kiss and make up because their friends. In our case I really doubt if there is a kiss and make up because there is no real FRIENDSHIP that keep us together. She said in her post, I was just a Mere Acquaintance.... that is why she never cares or bothered to call me early, but instead make a post in my blog. so there is now wounds that needed to be healed and friendship to bring back because one person said she did not do anything.

A said...

Hello sis, I think this is my first time to your blog.. :D Visiting from PMC.. :D

Anyway, it's sad that your friendship ended, but I suppose she deserves it after how she mistreated you. I don't know her and I have never been to her blogs but after reading your post, I'm glad I haven't crossed paths with her..

There are just some people who can't admit their mistake and who are so proud that an apology is not an option for them. I feel sorry for her because she lost a friend.

Look on the bright side, there are more people deserving of your friendship and at least you found out early that she's not worth your time. :)

Sunshinelene said...

Sheng, ako man nuon dughan nag sakit. hahaha. It is sad that some friendship end but somehow along the way, down the road, things can still be patch up and you both can say hi to each other again.

Friends kami ni Mommy Rose online dahil minsan nagpopost ako sa Nostalgia but did not realized that no follow thingy eh kaya can't relate much.

Some people may say many things too at the height of their excitement - be it in happiness or anger - so i hope both of u will mellow down in the soon future.


Badet Siazon said...

I hope that you can still patch things up. Honestly, if someone I invited for a party didn't come, I just shrug it off because I might be busy attending to my guests' needs. But if your friend knew that they were the only guests, then I think she owes at least a call from you ahead of time.

I think it's just a misunderstanding sis. Mukhang matagal na rin kayong friends based on your story eh. Sana maayos nyo pa rin.

Azumi's Mom ★ said...

First of all, i want to apologize dahil ang dami dami ko na na-missed sa inyo nina lil lamb chop at ni Jake. Medyo busy lola mo sa work nya kaya medyo slow blogging life. Nagcheck lang kasi ako fb kaya nakita ko yung issue sa inyo ni Ate Rose :( Nalungkot lang ako kasi dati nababasa ko pa yung mga bonding moments posts nyo and I realized na you can really find good friends online.

Anyway, I hope in time, magkaayos na rin kayo. Just like Sir Mel, i love you both kahit na parang invisible ako palagi online. Tt's understandable why you are disappointed at her. I admire you on how you treasure friendships. Kaya naman nuon pa man, alam ko na masarap kang maging kaibigan.

Regards to your cutie kids.. God bless

Unknown said...

Thanks for the visit Bambie dear. ako nga din hindi na masyadong active sa bloghop compared before. UU nga hindi na sana umabot sa ganito kung nag oopen up lng. Thanks again

Unknown said...

@Ane, thanks for the visit sis. will try to visit back shortly

@Mommy Arlene salamat sa visit and neutral comments

@Badet, exactly what i want when i called and invited her. You awed that to your friend, o kahit acquaintances to at least tell them a head of time na you can't come.

Clarissa said...

OMG!! I love you both pareho and I'm sad sa mga pangyayari...gosh matagal na pala ang issue na to,di ko alam...

Whatever it is na nangyari sa inyo ni Ate Rose,sana maayos..I'm still wishful that things can be patched up..

jared's mum said...

it is always sad to see a a beautiful friendship end like this, especially genuine online friendship which are more difficult to find + sustain.i hope somehow you might be able to patch things up + end up as friends again...

God bless!

Mel_Cole said...

Hello mommy shy, i hope you will feel ok na. huwag na away2x. let there be peace on earth. hehehe. i still love you both and hope you both end up be friends again :)

kimmyschemy06 said...

that was so sad.. i heard about it but i didn't know it was the two of you who were involved. sometimes, things are meant to be, but sometimes, they simply aren't.. let FATE decide and we'll see what is and what isn't..

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